Welcome, Shelley! And congrats on your new release. This is a great topic, and you really have some wonderful information here.
Condoms and the Romance Writer
Firstly, thanks to Feisty for inviting me to do a guest spot on her blog. It’s always a lot of fun to run loose on another person’s blog.
I’m really excited to have a new release out today from Ellora’s Cave. Fancy Free is an erotic romance about a girl who inherits a condom factory.
Some of you will already be familiar with the behind-the-scenes story about how the idea for Fancy Free came to me. My husband and I were flying home from San Francisco aboard an Air New Zealand flight. I browsed the in-flight magazine and a new product article caught my attention. One of the new products was a vibrating condom, and immediately my mind seized on the idea. My husband shushed me when I tried to discuss condoms and the possibilities, so I went into daydream mode and by the time we landed in Auckland had a plot all mapped out.
That brings me directly back to condoms. In our personal lives we’re told to practice safe sex. I have no problem with that, after all, who wants to pick up a nasty disease while doing a horizontal tango?
Safe sex and the surrounding issues is something that authors need to consider each time they write a love scene. Back at the start of the safe sex campaign a lot of people went on record as saying using a condom in a fictional love scene destroyed all the spontaneity. Personally I’ve never understood the problem because if the scene is written properly, a condom can add an extra dimension. It says I care enough about my health to use one. It says I care enough about my partner to protect him or her. To me, writing a condom into a love scene makes plain common sense.
Over my years of writing I’ve developed a set of rules for fictional condom use. I’ll also add here that this is my opinion and this is what I like to see. I’m not going to bash you over the head if you disagree.
Contemporary romance:
My hero and heroine always use a condom in each love scene. Sometimes more, since I write erotic romance! If they don’t use a condom I give the reader a good reason. Sometimes in the heat of the moment our hero and heroine might forget. Our hero and heroine might be in the middle of nowhere and desperate to the point of crazed, or they might know each other’s sexual history and oral contraception is enough. In Fancy Free, condoms are part of the plot. My characters James and Alice make full use of their products. In Summer in the City of Sails, I even have a condom scene where the hero tells the heroine her glow-in-the-dark condoms remind him of a green ogre.
Historical romance:
I know from my research a form of condoms has been around since Egyptian times. During Roman times after the gladiators fought, they scored big time with the noble ladies. These noble ladies didn’t want children from the gladiators, merely a night of pleasure so they used condoms.
If I’m writing a historical, my heroes and heroines usually don’t use condoms. This was an era where good girls remained virgins until marriage, especially the women of the nobility so the use of condoms isn’t an issue. I look at the social mores when deciding whether my characters use birth control. In my Georgian-set historical, The Second Seduction the plot was a marriage of convenience and a condom wasn’t necessary. In Unforgettable, my World War II romance the couple use condoms.
Paranormal/futuristic romance:
Sometimes my hero and heroine use condoms and sometimes they don’t. It depends on the set-up. Often in my futuristic stories I’ll make a point of saying sexually transmitted diseases are eradicated. I did this in Sex Idol and Fallen Idol.
In my Middlemarch Mates feline shifter series condoms are used in some books and not in others, with the readers learning why condoms are absent.
It is my opinion that responsible romantic heroes use condoms.
What do you think about condoms in fiction? Should our heroes and heroines use them? Does it jerk you out of a book if condoms are absent? What rules of use do you like to apply?
Shelley Munro writes hot and spicy tales for Ellora’s Cave. You can visit her website at http://www.shelleymunro.com
I don’t mind reading about condoms, and I have learned to always include on in my contemporary romances.
BTW, I can’t wait to read this book! I love all your books, and this sounds equally awesome!!
Personally, I don’t mind seeing the characters use a condom as long as it’s written in a way that fits with the scene.
I read a really wonderful scene once (can’t remember the book now) where the hero put the condom on in advance (like twenty minutes before he even began seducing the heroine) and he was so turned on that it stayed on the whole time. Later, the author brilliantly used that as a set-up for some conflict between the characters.
That being said, I also don’t usually notice if the condom is missing, even in contemporary.
Condoms aren’t really a big thing for me, since I don’t really like them myself. However I’ve been with the same person for 7 years so I really don’t have any worries in that dept. I think if it doesn’t disrubt the scene either way is fine for me. It doesn’t pull me out of the scene if they don’t use one but it does if the author adds one and it doesn’t fit in with the scene.
I mostly write paranormal-where bonds and mates really have no need for condoms LOL-but I think in a contemporary setting you are more compelled to address it. Actually well written the application of the condom can be an incredibly sexy thing-and the object itself can become an aspect of the character-do they like it or not? Did they forget it out of passion? etc.
[...] celebrate, I’m guest blogging at Lillian Feisty’s blog where I’m talking about Condoms and the Romance [...]
[...] I’d love to hear your opinion. Here’s the link. [...]
I think if we’rwe writing erotic romances, which I love, we have a responsibility to the readers to elt them know casual sex is not indiscriminate sex. Written properly into the scene, condoms are not a distraction and in fact, as you said, Shelley, can even add to the scene. I think you do a great job with it. And Kelsey, the scene you weer talking about I think was in Linda Howard’s Kill and Tell when Mark takes Karen back to his apartment.
Thanks, Lilli. I’m really excited about the release of Fancy Free.
Kelsey/Lauren – I almost think of condoms as another item of clothing to be donned. To me it’s a bit weird if they’re not present in a contemporary scene, unless the writer has explained otherwise. *grin*
RG – yes, paranormal is so much easier in this aspect!
Thanks, Desiree. I’ve read Kill and Tell, but don’t remember that scene, although it’s been a while since I picked this book up. I think I have the book on my shelves somewhere. Off to check it out…
Most of my stories are erotic gay romances although I have a couple of straight romances. For the contemporary, I always write condoms. It would be irresponsible to do otherwise. In my paranormals, I’m not as concerned because the stories are fantasy.
When I read, I do notice the lack of condom use. I recently read a Harlequin (either Presents or Desire) where the H/h, total strangers, didn’t use a condom. I was shocked but it played heavily into the plot by the end. (Of course, she got pregnant! *cackle*)
Condoms in a contemporary or as part of an Otherworld story, can be a spicy erotic part of the story. However, what if the heroine is like me? I’m allergic. So, of course, I write from that standpoint, simply because it’s reality to me, and I don’t see it addressed often. I rarely write contemporary, in part, for that reason. However, I did write a submit to Nocturne Bites, and they want contemporary. So, what does a girl do when a wolf shifter shows up on her doorstep, an isolated Montana house in the forest, and mates with her? Not exactly a place to purchase condoms, is there?
[...] Mar – Fancy Free is now available from Ellora’s Cave. – Guest at Lillian Feisty’s blog and DCL [...]
I always write them into contemporary love scenes. I actually had fun with them in my jewel story for EC – the hero has a red, white and blue condom and tells the heroine, “If this doesn’t get used, the terrorists will have won.”
Okay, so it’s well after midnight and I can’t sleep, so I decided to do some shopping and had to buy Fancy Free. Now I’ll never get to sleep! What a great book, Shelley. Well. done.
Desiree – thanks so much! You’ve made my day.
Solange – that sounds like a great scene! Does he say it with a straight face?
Savanna – during my “condom” research I learned that quite a few people are allergic to the latex. They do have condoms made from Polyurethane, which are for people who are allergic and there’s also the lamb skins naturals that I believe one company still produces, although the lamb skins aren’t suitable for prevention of STDs and AIDS. My little bit of trivia for the day!
Shayla – yes, I’ll admit I’ve read the odd contemporary where the situation isn’t addressed and it always pulls me up short, not usually enough to put the book down, but it does play on my mind.
So far I’ve written historicals where condom use would never have been considered. For contemporary, I think it should suit the situation. Any circumstance can be explained – if they’re virgins and don’t need them (as far as STD’s), if they have experience and wouldn’t think of sex without one, etc. Basically, the condom use would come out of the story and characters’ backgrounds.
Happy Release Day, Shelley! Hi, Lillian!
I don’t so much think authors need to write PSA’s in their erotic writing–however I know that *I* am taken out of a story I’m reading if the subject isn’t broached anymore.
I read one where the h and h (strangers mind you) disussed condoms, but he told her he was clean and so she said, “okay”. I don’t think the author should feel irresponsible because she didn’t send the right message, but she *should* feel irresponsible that her heroine was TSTL.
When we discussed condoms in our PI workshop someone brought up the disposal of condoms. I realized I hardly ever see what they do with the condom after the deed. And I have a few scenes in which I neglected to get rid of it.
Oops.
Lilli – I tried that – not disposing of a condom in one of my first EC books. My editor noticed :)
Heck, she also notices when my hero makes love while wearing his boots. She’s no fun at all! ;)
Gwen – I’m also taken out of a story if the subject isn’t mentioned.